Dearly beloved

Recently I had the honour of being invited to counsel with a young couple from our Church. I also spoke at their wedding ceremony last weekend. What follows is an amended version of my talk. The names of any potential guilty parties have been removed
Prior to this the last time I spoke at a wedding it was the “shotgun type” and we were in the tropics of Kenya, East Africa. Certainly not the case today with this young couple (D&M) as both came together out of a strong devotion to Christ and love to each other to make this public and legal commitment to each other before God in the presence of witnesses. For it is as witnesses they had come, not just to observe the wonder of an amazingly beautiful bride or to check the form of the handsome groom, but to witness and support this couple as they take this step of faith and enter into a covenant of marriage.

This was something I want the congregation to consider as they observe the proceedings, took photos and enjoyed the celebration, particularly those of whom were married. Can you recall the nervousness and anxiety you had on your own wedding day? Can you still conjure the sensation of excitement and elated love you had towards your future spouse as you went through the ceremony? Most importantly, do you remember the vows you exchanged and how you really focused on each and every word because you wanted to be deliberate and sincere before you proclaimed, “I do”? At that point you felt invulnerable, you felt as though there was nothing that would defeat your love. What does it take to reignite that and regain what perhaps may have grown cold or indifferent over time? How do ensure, and how do you intend to encourage any couple venturing into the world of marriage to ensure they maintain their passion, commitment and love? Will you pray for them? Will you hold them accountable in this most important of earthly contracts? Will you stand by them when the tough times come? Will you provide them an example of how a real passionate marriage not only gets through trials but smashes them and comes up stronger and deeper and more madly in love than previously?

Wouldn’t it be great if you could bottle the excitement the couple had right then during the ceremony and mix it into an elixir that you sip from each morning and each night to refresh, reinvigorate and reignite your own marriage? I exhort you, through the renewing of your mind and remembrance of what happened on your own wedding day. Whether it is the doom of seemingly insurmountable bills, news of a terminal illness or the kids screaming in the background, you are faced with a choice. You can snap, bite and devour each other or you can remember the joy and love and commitment you made not only to each other but to Christ and choose to press forward in love and renew your commitment to each other and to Christ and declare your intention to stay true to your vows.

We are told in scripture that marriage is a picture of what Christ accomplished for us as the church. His love endured the pain and suffering of the cross so that he might betroth himself to his bride and thereby wash and cleanse her and provide the gift of salvation. In his humanity he could have stepped aside, he could have discarded us as ungrateful, belligerent and undeserving, but his love could not be defeated and as a result we enjoy the promise of redemption.

The husband is charged with the headship of his new home and as Christ so loved the church and literally gave himself for it, so he is to love his bride sacrificially, and give his entire self to and for her. When you say, “I do” you don’t just get a free ticket to the honeymoon suite. You the whole package! You get to put up with at least one bad week out of four for the rest of your life; you get to always be reminded to put the seat down; to always put the socks and smalls in the basket; to learn what it means to really listen and empathise and always lead the way in how your family will serve and relate to God and how in tenderness you will honour and serve your wife.

The bride now has an opportunity to exemplify the response of the church to Christ and place herself willingly at her husband’s side and as she binds herself to him, enjoying the blessing of his godly leadership. You also get the package deal and have the privilege of putting up with football and golf dominating the TV; you relinquish the opportunity to ever use a remote control again; you lovingly and patiently wait on the Lord when it’s time for your husband to make a decision and put your faith in Christ through him by following his leadership.

One thing, commonly missing from wedding vows, but critical to a successful marriage, especially one that will truly example the relationship between Christ and Church is the word “forgive”. You both, in sinful selfishness are going to mess up in the next few decades, but if you are sincere and genuine in your vows today and through your public declaration are determined to endure anything for the joy that is set before you then through Christ you will be most blessed.